YOUNG MAN TALKING TO CAMERA, HIS NAME IS BRANDON.

Hi, I’m Brandon Hardesty, so apparently there’s this new thing going around with
teenagers nowadays, which I didn’t know existed.
Things like sending naked pictures of yourself to you partner through cell phones,
you know, against their will, or texting them constantly wondering where they are,
or hacking their MySpace and Facebook accounts because you don’t trust them enough.
You know, years ago, if you wanted to stalk somebody you would have to follow them
home with the headlights off, dig through their garbage, find their bank statements,
maybe their social security number, and then maybe in a drunken stupor, go to a pay
phone around the block and call her coaxing her to the window just so you can get a
glimpse of her supple body for a brief sad moment in your otherwise miserable life.
Who wants to go through all of that when you have cell phones and the internet? 

The thing is, technology is great. It moves us forward as a species and we learn new
and amazing things everyday, because of it. We cure diseases and a bunch of cool
stuff. But, with new technology comes new problems and we need to deal with those
problems. And if you’re in a young relationship you need to establish your digital
boundaries so to speak. Now let’s say you’re not in a comfortable relationship right
now, let’s say your boyfriend is pressuring you to send naked pictures of yourself
to him through your cell phone. There are three people you can confront in a time
like this: your parents, your guidance counselor at school or your partner. I guess
the parents make it 4 people but whatever.

Let’s see what it would be like if you confronted your parents: 
CUT TO SHOT OF BRANDON DRESSED UP AS A FATHER.
Father - Is that what you think a cell phone is supposed to be used for young lady?
If I wanted you to take naked pictures of yourself and send it to some 15 year old
crack head at school, I would have bought you the camera and the dark room…

CUT TO SHOT OF BRANDON DRESSED UP AS A MOTHER.
Mother – OH, HUN!

CUT TO FATHER.
Father – Well if that’s what she wants, I’m tempted to go take a picture of my ass
and send it to the boy. That will give him a rude awakening.

Mother- OH, HUN!

Father – Well she’s obviously not using a cell phone correctly. Young lady until you
can dial a phone number without taking your pants off I’m taking your cell phone
dumping it down the garbage disposal and flipping the switch. You can have it back
in a month. Oh and by the way, you’re grounded ‘til your dead!

Brandon: Now let’s see what happened if you confided in your guidance counselor:

BRANDON IS DRESSED AS A GUIDANCE COUNSELOR SITTING AT A DESK, TALKING
TO THE CAMERA.
Guidance Counselor - He did what? That’s horrible! Deplorable, despicable in every
possible way. Don’t you think for a minute that he’s going to get away with this.
Wait, that little miscreant, I’m going to call his parents right now and tell them
every-. Wait, you don’t want me too? You know what you’re right, they’re probably
just as sick in the head as he is.  We need to take this to a higher power; we’ll
call the police! They’ll probably cuff him as soon he takes another picture of his
little wiener. You don’t want me to do that either? Well for peet's sake, I’m
trying to help you out here, we need to get the word out, we need to let people
know that this behavior will not stand! We need to tell the newspapers, the
magazines, Joan Rivers, Governor Schwarzenegger, Barack Obama! We’ll storm the
white house, we’ll storm Washington. Oh, I can see it now, we’ll lead the crusades
and walk right through the gates, walk into the oval office and we tell him that
your genitalia is yours to see and yours alone! G-d bless America! E pluribus unum!
 Veni vedi vici!  Voulez vous coucher avec moi!  Haha!
GUIDANCE COUNSELOR LIGHTS SPARKLER AND WAVES AMERICAN FLAG.

Brandon: And imagine all the horrible things your boyfriend might say if you
confronted him:

BRANDON IS DRESSED UP AS A TEENAGE BOY STARING BLANKLY AT THE CAMERA.
Boyfriend: I think we should break up.

BRANDON, DRESSED NORMALLY, TALKS TO CAMERA.
Brandon: Now that we see how every situation could play out in the worst possible
way, it might not seem so bad to actually talk to someone about it. Your parents
are more supportive then you think, your guidance counselor isn’t the paparazzi
and your boyfriend, well, you know…Communication is crucial in a relationship
and he needs to hear what you have to say whether he likes it or not. For more
information you can go to Thatsnotcool.com and you can read other peoples stories
and experiences about all this. There’s even a forum, you can talk to people if
your other options are kind of over bearing. 
BRANDON ANSWERS HIS RINGING CELL PHONE.
Phone rings: Grandma, Herbert Hoover isn’t hacking your MySpace account!